Perth

Upon departure from the "fine city" we found ourselves in the world's most isolated city- Perth, Western Oz. Foolishly we hadn't booked ahead and as it was Valentine's all hostels were booked out by people hoping to exchange dead flowers for bodily contact, so we had to live it up in a couple of different swanky hotels, nice and pricey!

Although I knew nobody in Perth I was helped out by Perth man in exile Morgan Campbell. Many maps were e-mailed my way with noteable spots and parks, cheers man!

Although it may not appear so from the pic above, Cris was quite ill and had developed bronchitis from all the dodgy aircon and long haul flying, so we were pretty limited in our explorations.

This pic fully extentuates the seriousness of her illness.

We did catch a cool exhibit at the main gallery- there were time lapes of paintings done with water on a hot pavement so when one dissappeared another would be fully complete, pretty original.

There was also mirror you hogged your breath on and an image appeared, nice and interactive, a break from the usual wank.

A statue of Bon Scott! Found this by accident!

Although I knew nobody in Perth I was helped out by Perth man in exile Morg-the-man Campbell. Many maps were e-mailed my way with noteable spots and parks ^ above are the famous woolstore ledges featured in nearly every major vid nowadays (invisble board back smith) in Freemantle, it was about 36 degrees C that day so I gave it a miss to avoid turning into a puddle.

For the day that was in it the Little Creatures Brewery was a far more welcoming spot.

I always endeavour to sample the local brews wherever I go, my teens years working in an off license gave me an early beer snobery, why can't all beer be as good as the fizzy goodness from small brewerys like this. In a country like Ireland I'm always amazed by the amount of mass produced pissy muk we pour down out gullets! I tried each brew they had to offer, all good bar the cider, my desire for that acidic stomach melter felt out of my body during my knacker drinking days back in my wonder years.

Perth by night^ aight! I was surprised at how the city felt, despite a few sky scrapers it had quite a small town feel to it.

This park was on the city limits, pretty gnarlerific for a pasty gnarlaphobe like me. I felt like I was going to turn to mist, the heat t'was hot. The skaters I did encounter were quite friendly, lots of odd spots here and there but i'll leave this on a tale I wrote in an e-mail at the time after skating the local library-

The first spot I seen in Perth was that collection of rad black & white marble structures parked right in the middle of the Library, galleries and other such houses of knowledge and culture. Any spot that has a variety of weird wallie options suits me right down to the ground, because if you're like me and you don't like leaving your friend, the ground, for too long, then the simple wallie will present the key to your daily stoke! I was skating the place on me todd, (I don't do the solitary man thing too well) so it took me a while to get into the swing of things, especially in the stifling heat of a Perth evening, far too many degrees for my pasty behind. Eventually some rocky transfers and ropey wallies began to materialise, take into account here that I'm pretty crap and the sense of accomplishment when rolling away from a 70 degree wallie had me grinning like a chesire cat. Apart from the lack of buddies to get you amped, skating on my own always makes me notice the general public a lot more, I'm far more easiy distracted. As the spot is in a nice open public area, there were a few people wondering about, but none of them seemed too bothered with my actions which suited me fine, so I soldiered on. Eventually, while I was sheltering in the the relief of the Library's shade (pre epic run up) I noticed a broad shouldered lunk of a man zoning in on me. There were a few people walking here and there, but this guy was definitely on a mission to me, and something about his demeanor didn't tell me he was going to be giving me kudos, a cool pint, or even a bunch of flowers. "Can I aaask you somethiiing?" The guy was a tank and would surely eat me arms and legs on a whim, but I didn't want to seem like a Peter push over so I remained cool and told him to fire away. "Do you think you're disrespecting that aaaart?" I paused, noticed his overly hairy flaring nostrils and faded old Man United t-shirt, this guy could be a few sandwhiches short, but nevertheless I felt I should stand my ground. "I don't think I'm disrespecting it, I think I'm re-interpreting it" I wasn't trying to be smart, I was just being honest. The glint behind his thin shades and the grimace that followed told me that he was not used to guys half his weight disagreeing with him. He quipped like my aul pal Scooby Doo "Re-interpretinnng?" Yes. "Isn't that the idea behind art, its your interpretation of it?" The bone in his frontal lobe was obviously interupting his thought process, so I gave him a minute, while he sized me up like he was going to remove all my limbs. "SO wait wait waaait, if I was to get a Picassooo, and skate over it, would that be re-interpreting it" I suppose it actually would, but I'd dared not to battle my superior cultured professor on the grounds of art & interpretation any longer. "Picasso's stuff isn't made of marble" "Yeh, but this is, and you're chipping all the corners off" A bit of too and frow ensued and I actually noticed my voice raising. "Show me, show me where I've chipped it!" "That's not the point" Its not? He began to stomp away in disgust. I actually felt a slight stab of guilt as I'd visibly upset the poor lamb. I opted to bargain for the sake of world peace "Here, listen, if its upsetting you that much, i'll leave it OK?" He jumped at the bait and quickly spun around- "Its not the point, its not about upsetting me!" Wait, its not? Maybe I was missing something. "Its the aaaaartist, you're disrespecting the aaaartist" "I don't think I am, I think I'm celebrating the art" Now his was the voice that was rasing as he'd clearly had enough. "I see you skaters here, and in Adelade and Melbourne skating War Memorials, would you skaate a war memorial" He was begging for a yes to justify him nullifying my face with his fist. "No" "Good, ye better not." He was getting closer to me and I began to f eel cornered as my professor pal had now turned bull on me. "Well how about this mate" His brain had finally caught up with him. "How about I take your board, and I skate over you face, would that be re-interpreting it" Down the years my mug has been called a lot of things, but to be inferred as being a work of art, this was a first. "Give me your board mate (mate?), and I'll skate all over your face!" Our enlightented discussion had dispanded into play time now, and knowing full well my limbs prefer to be attached to by trunk I put me tail between me legs. "Ah here?" I pleaded. I began to make my path away from bullman "How aboouut thaat mate?" I mumbled "asshole" under my breath. "What was that mate?" Remembering my poor limbs and their treasured position on my body I skated away, very fast, even if I was his mate.Things like that just get me more amped on a city, I spent the rest of the evening discovering what I could find around Perth city with a silly grin on my piece of art. Its rare you get such enlightening banter at a skatepark, the city street is where its at, just watch your face.