Sverige

You ever watch National Lampoon's European Vacation?
When I were a wee fella films like the aforementioned gave me a very polarised perspective of how life on the continent was. As I grew and learned how to walk onto airplanes I soon discovered that the Europe depicted in this larf a minute hollywood romp were largely based on old cliches. What a dissapointment. Dammit Griswold, why ya be misleading dem yoots of Ireland?
I'd largely given up on the Lampoon dream until one day I got out of my squashed budget airline seat and set foot in Sweden, it was here upon seeing such unrivalled stunning smiley people that the Lampoon series fully redeemed itself. Look at the beaut below if you don't believe me. Perrrrmanga!
To see an Irish grot spoiling the view in Sweden, have a look-see at Anders Neuman's article from his mag transition over there.

Bruscar

I remember one of the first Irish phrases I learned in my first Bray school while donning my first beauriful grey uniform and elastic band blue tie was "bosca bruscar", literally translated it means bin box. It was just that, a cardboard box that our teacher Sister Catherine told us to put our rubbish in. Oh how times have changed! Whilst waiting for the 145 the other morning I happened upon another Bray first. As usual Bray is grabbing the rest of the country be' the scruff and dragging it into the future. Ireland's first sex shop, first aquarium, Al Collins and now this- Bray's swankiest two fingers to the recession- one of many solar powered compactors! the humble bosca bruscar has come along way. I wonder if Bosco will upgrade to a more modern abode now considering his creator is from..yeah, you've guessed it, Bray! Lets see how I can relate this to my original intent for posting- oh yeah, magazines are something that can often be found going into a solar compactor (bin for you laymen), but I never really throw out skatey mags, unless I've been cutting out stuff with a scalpel on top of them, then they get all..ah its not important- neither is this- there's an interview with yours truly in the most excellent French skate mag SOMA that I've posted right over there. If you speak fluent suave go read it. Final interesting Bray fact- Bray resident Al Collins subscribes to French mag Sugar and speaks French quite well, aaah oui!

Print mags

Sidewalk & Kingpin both reviewed the vid in thier paper magazines that you can hold in your hands- read more about that on this less tangible* web page.

Some non nudey posed pics of yours truly can also be found over there in German film mag schmallfilm.

In the mean time here's a pic of Gibbo showing his recession diversity by displaying the fact that he's not all brains and could hold it down with the best of them clean cut boyband types.

*web page can be made more tangible py printing it on glossy bog roll and making into your own personal Scrum Tilly Lush review zine.

Skid knee

Sydney! The fake capital of Oz was a welcome change to the backpacker tailored Cairns, I prefer citys myself, and Cris was hoovering up the tourist sites with a giant straw. Here we see the famous watch for pedestrians sign, wow! A birreh lego..

and a bunch of funny hats.

We only had 3 nights there, but it was enough time to catch up with Paddy ex-pat Jay Hickey. Or Jaaaay as thebig man might pronounce it himself. As Jay has a young'n on the way he was pretty tied up with father-to-be related duties, but we did get to sneak a shred in at the very re-vamped Redfern plaza. Jay was rippin!

SO stoked to skate a genuinely original plaza, apart from 1000 blocks of all shapes and sizes there were super shippy quarters, wierd banks and a mini among other things- stokeage for days, but unfortunately I only had one evening, so it was stokage for evening. I used to work around the corner from this park when I was here. I was a hired goon for a dodgy Irish/Colomibian business relocation duo. Endless days a salty trails on me black airtex shirt while hauling desks and pcs around Sydney's CBD, total cants to work for but the bant' could not be beat.

Tis only in a big smoke type area that you'll find weird indulgences to pander to my adventurous pallet- giant sippy cups full of cold tea and chewy jelly pellets aroused my curiosity, and sibsequently my sugar levels and tastebuds.

Cris gettin' all up in that coke coloured shiiid.

Another delish sugar maggot ladened refresher..we eventually sickened ourselves of these yolks, they're half sugar anyway, thus novelty gives way to sicklity.

On a belly full of sugar we headed for the hills, or the Blue Mountains to be exarct. Pretty spectacular scenery as far as the eyeball will take ye, and get a lod of those mountains n' shit too!Chocolate factory, not as great as it made out. Ye know when you're real hungry for a proper meal and not a gob full of Willy Wonka's specialties? Cris doesn't!





What's that word? Monorail!

Monoraaaaail!

Monoraaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiil!

Caaaans

Cairns, North Quensland, or Caaaans as the locals know it was to be our next stop. A bit of a change from our previous dry arid extreme heat, Cairns is tropical and humid as fook, sweat bag.

Ice cream consumption levels were off the scale (that sounds like something Jer would say) ^This stuff was the best, cold rock, they've a cold plate in the ice cream shop, you pick different flavours then stuff like chocolate, nuts, jellies and whatnot to cruch into it, expensove but worth it.

My earliest zoo memories were of when I was around 4 and throwing sweet wrappers into a hippo's mouth in Dublin zoo. Ozzy zoo's are a cut above others, no wrapper throwing and pretty well looked after animals with conservation at the core of most captivity. The baul Koala, contrary to popular belief they don't actually get stoned on eucalyptus leaves, they just aren't that nutritious and its all they eat, so their energy levels are pretty low.

Baby croc with taped mouth (free of milky way wrappers)

My personal fave- the firefox!

Elvis

Apart from good access to the great barrier reef, Cairns has tonnes of tropical rainforest. We went on a guided walk with a local dude Stewie who took us to this beuriful natural creek. T'was freezing cold due to the tall tree cover, and noticably lacking that salt water after taste.

You can't see it from this photo but that web is actually gold. These things were everywhere. Notice the tiny male on her back, he's got two sperm sacks and as soon as he deploys the second the games up and she chomps him. Rough justice.

Insect porn? Praying Mantis gettin' it on. The same deal happens here, the dude gets spent, then he gets spent.

Warer far.

We went out on the reef, I hate boats but somehow made the journey without puking. Cris went for a dive and I choose to snorkel. Seen some pretty alien stuff, but it always freaks me out as I've no idea what anything is and how much distance I should keep, so I tend to like returning to land. I was born on land you know?

gnz

I heart this dude.

log

To celebrate the 91st blog entry right here I thought I'd interrupt the travel log with some social commentary. Every paper, raido & TV show is filled with gloomy financial misery, fair enough, times be tough. However, I have noticed now that lots of people have lost their jobs they've a lot of time for each other. Maybe its just people I'm lucky to know? Its definitely more noticeable now that I'm back and the weather is nice, people are out enjoying each other's company and playing tippy mickeys, good times, a silver lining.

here's TNT's section from Cash Money Vagrant, I like.

Red Centre

Next stop was Uluru, aka Ayer's rock, the less said the better- commodified resorty shite.

At least the view flying in and out was cool, salt lake madness..

Perth

Upon departure from the "fine city" we found ourselves in the world's most isolated city- Perth, Western Oz. Foolishly we hadn't booked ahead and as it was Valentine's all hostels were booked out by people hoping to exchange dead flowers for bodily contact, so we had to live it up in a couple of different swanky hotels, nice and pricey!

Although I knew nobody in Perth I was helped out by Perth man in exile Morgan Campbell. Many maps were e-mailed my way with noteable spots and parks, cheers man!

Although it may not appear so from the pic above, Cris was quite ill and had developed bronchitis from all the dodgy aircon and long haul flying, so we were pretty limited in our explorations.

This pic fully extentuates the seriousness of her illness.

We did catch a cool exhibit at the main gallery- there were time lapes of paintings done with water on a hot pavement so when one dissappeared another would be fully complete, pretty original.

There was also mirror you hogged your breath on and an image appeared, nice and interactive, a break from the usual wank.

A statue of Bon Scott! Found this by accident!

Although I knew nobody in Perth I was helped out by Perth man in exile Morg-the-man Campbell. Many maps were e-mailed my way with noteable spots and parks ^ above are the famous woolstore ledges featured in nearly every major vid nowadays (invisble board back smith) in Freemantle, it was about 36 degrees C that day so I gave it a miss to avoid turning into a puddle.

For the day that was in it the Little Creatures Brewery was a far more welcoming spot.

I always endeavour to sample the local brews wherever I go, my teens years working in an off license gave me an early beer snobery, why can't all beer be as good as the fizzy goodness from small brewerys like this. In a country like Ireland I'm always amazed by the amount of mass produced pissy muk we pour down out gullets! I tried each brew they had to offer, all good bar the cider, my desire for that acidic stomach melter felt out of my body during my knacker drinking days back in my wonder years.

Perth by night^ aight! I was surprised at how the city felt, despite a few sky scrapers it had quite a small town feel to it.

This park was on the city limits, pretty gnarlerific for a pasty gnarlaphobe like me. I felt like I was going to turn to mist, the heat t'was hot. The skaters I did encounter were quite friendly, lots of odd spots here and there but i'll leave this on a tale I wrote in an e-mail at the time after skating the local library-

The first spot I seen in Perth was that collection of rad black & white marble structures parked right in the middle of the Library, galleries and other such houses of knowledge and culture. Any spot that has a variety of weird wallie options suits me right down to the ground, because if you're like me and you don't like leaving your friend, the ground, for too long, then the simple wallie will present the key to your daily stoke! I was skating the place on me todd, (I don't do the solitary man thing too well) so it took me a while to get into the swing of things, especially in the stifling heat of a Perth evening, far too many degrees for my pasty behind. Eventually some rocky transfers and ropey wallies began to materialise, take into account here that I'm pretty crap and the sense of accomplishment when rolling away from a 70 degree wallie had me grinning like a chesire cat. Apart from the lack of buddies to get you amped, skating on my own always makes me notice the general public a lot more, I'm far more easiy distracted. As the spot is in a nice open public area, there were a few people wondering about, but none of them seemed too bothered with my actions which suited me fine, so I soldiered on. Eventually, while I was sheltering in the the relief of the Library's shade (pre epic run up) I noticed a broad shouldered lunk of a man zoning in on me. There were a few people walking here and there, but this guy was definitely on a mission to me, and something about his demeanor didn't tell me he was going to be giving me kudos, a cool pint, or even a bunch of flowers. "Can I aaask you somethiiing?" The guy was a tank and would surely eat me arms and legs on a whim, but I didn't want to seem like a Peter push over so I remained cool and told him to fire away. "Do you think you're disrespecting that aaaart?" I paused, noticed his overly hairy flaring nostrils and faded old Man United t-shirt, this guy could be a few sandwhiches short, but nevertheless I felt I should stand my ground. "I don't think I'm disrespecting it, I think I'm re-interpreting it" I wasn't trying to be smart, I was just being honest. The glint behind his thin shades and the grimace that followed told me that he was not used to guys half his weight disagreeing with him. He quipped like my aul pal Scooby Doo "Re-interpretinnng?" Yes. "Isn't that the idea behind art, its your interpretation of it?" The bone in his frontal lobe was obviously interupting his thought process, so I gave him a minute, while he sized me up like he was going to remove all my limbs. "SO wait wait waaait, if I was to get a Picassooo, and skate over it, would that be re-interpreting it" I suppose it actually would, but I'd dared not to battle my superior cultured professor on the grounds of art & interpretation any longer. "Picasso's stuff isn't made of marble" "Yeh, but this is, and you're chipping all the corners off" A bit of too and frow ensued and I actually noticed my voice raising. "Show me, show me where I've chipped it!" "That's not the point" Its not? He began to stomp away in disgust. I actually felt a slight stab of guilt as I'd visibly upset the poor lamb. I opted to bargain for the sake of world peace "Here, listen, if its upsetting you that much, i'll leave it OK?" He jumped at the bait and quickly spun around- "Its not the point, its not about upsetting me!" Wait, its not? Maybe I was missing something. "Its the aaaaartist, you're disrespecting the aaaartist" "I don't think I am, I think I'm celebrating the art" Now his was the voice that was rasing as he'd clearly had enough. "I see you skaters here, and in Adelade and Melbourne skating War Memorials, would you skaate a war memorial" He was begging for a yes to justify him nullifying my face with his fist. "No" "Good, ye better not." He was getting closer to me and I began to f eel cornered as my professor pal had now turned bull on me. "Well how about this mate" His brain had finally caught up with him. "How about I take your board, and I skate over you face, would that be re-interpreting it" Down the years my mug has been called a lot of things, but to be inferred as being a work of art, this was a first. "Give me your board mate (mate?), and I'll skate all over your face!" Our enlightented discussion had dispanded into play time now, and knowing full well my limbs prefer to be attached to by trunk I put me tail between me legs. "Ah here?" I pleaded. I began to make my path away from bullman "How aboouut thaat mate?" I mumbled "asshole" under my breath. "What was that mate?" Remembering my poor limbs and their treasured position on my body I skated away, very fast, even if I was his mate.Things like that just get me more amped on a city, I spent the rest of the evening discovering what I could find around Perth city with a silly grin on my piece of art. Its rare you get such enlightening banter at a skatepark, the city street is where its at, just watch your face.

Rule nation

2 months ago myself and Cris went sleepwalking and woke up in a very westernised Eastern city-Singapore. We only had a few days in this humid Metropolis, so we generally just walked around in a jet lagged state and ate. Lots of skyscrapers and lots of rules. There's tonnes of strange laws in this country, a bit over the top really. There's a fine for wasting water, but also a fine for not flushing the jax, I was in a pickle!

No loitering! That's a cool $500 fine.

Group break time exercise, they're up to something, give em the whip!

Fortunately for us, we brought no drugs into the country and subsiquently avoided the obligatory death sentence. Didn't skate either, was zombified from the flight and didn't feel like getting lashed ourreh it.

Hiatus

Jet lag can be an odd thing, and it is also a clue as to the blogs 2 month hiatus as myself and my darling girlfriend decided to circumnavigate the globe, just for fun, we even stopped every now again too. Plenty of updates and tales to follow.